The end of a long week.

I am finally finished with my overnight shifts for the week. There are so many things happening with work that it was nice to have the time, away from the team or guests, to sort things out.

My spotting turned into more than spotting, and I had the blood test for pregnancy this morning, but without even receiving the results, I also had another baseline ultrasound to start this process over. I started Clomid, again, but this time double the dose. Next Friday I go in again, before work, for the follow-up ultrasound that lets us know when I get to shoot up the medicine to make me ovulate.

I'm really tired. I'm glad that I found out I wasn't pregnant yet by starting my period, and not from a phone call. At least this way I had time to process it.

My hubby and I are going to dinner and a movie. I am excited to spend some quality time with him.

Getting closer.

I am working overnight all week and have had a lot of extra time to lose myself in thought. I take my pregnancy test in three days and a few hours and, as usual, I'm starting to worry about things that are out of my control. My doctor called to confirm I had actually ovulated, based on a blood test I took last friday. My breasts have been miserably sore, and I am very hormonal, so I already knew something for sure was happening. I also started cramping a little today, and spotting just the teeny tiniest little bit. Implantation bleeding? That would be great. Beginning of my period? Equally possible. I'm just keeping my fingers crossed.

I have been through my fair share of letdowns the past two years. My husband and I charted my cycles, used ovulation indicator strips for months, all just to realize I don't ovulate. I sprung my first appointment with the fertility specialist on my husband. We've been seeing her almost a year, now. First I had a blood test that took nine vials of blood. Then I had to have a dye test. That was painful, physically and emotionally. I have a uterine anomoly, it turns out, on top of my hypothyroidism and PCOS. The results of the dye test were concerning enough that my doctor had me then have and MRI of my abdomen, to get a better idea of how severe my anomoly was while also checking I had two kidneys. There is a high risk of missing a kidney when your uterus is heart shaped, like mine. There were discussions of surgeries and other scary things of that nature. Luckily the MRI clearly showed two kidneys and cleared the need for surgery, but not how the threat had made me feel. I still remember breaking down in my HR manager's office when I had to let her know I might have to miss work during the Christmas holidays.

Once we finally had everything figured out, and started the process of conception, my husband had to leave town for work.

I'm worried. I know I shouldn't be, but I am. What if this doesn't work? I cried so much today, watching Parenthood, when one of the characters who had been trying to conceive for four months found out she wouldn't be able to get pregnant. I'm praying I don't have to go through much more bad news.

My Vacation is Nearing its End.

I had a lovely birthday. I went and got my last tattoo as a non-mom. I'd post a picture, but it looks a little peely still, so that'll have to wait. My birthday was pretty mellow since my husband was very very sick. A few times his temperature went above 103*F. I still have a bruise on my tummy from the Ovidrel injection, too.

Friday was also pretty nice. The hubbs had a home-office day, so I got to hang out with him a lot more, even though he was still really sick, and also had a lot of work to do. It was weird not having a single day off together during my vacation. It made it feel less like a vacation, and more like a few extra days off work. My appointment went well. IUIs are less painful than I expected. The hubbs' little guys were especially active and social despite his fever. He already had a high count and motility, but it was even higher that day, which made my doctor happy. After we were done, we went home and just relaxed with each other. I would have to say, Friday was much more special to me than my birthday, and my husband did a great job of taking care of me even as I was taking care of him. Luckily he is sick no more!

I get my progesterone levels checked next Friday, before work. My pregnancy test is scheduled for April 15th, the Friday after that and is immediately followed by my next endocrinology appointment, and my first appointment with my new OB/GYN is three weeks after that. I'm keeping my fingers crossed so hard.

Birthday stuff of note:
 I had a tasty breakfast at Indigo Grill in Little Italy, Saturday, as a joint celebration of my birthday with my BIL. While everyone else went with pineapple upside-down french toast, and some sort of savory chicken burrito, I was the lone rebel who chose chocolate bacon pancakes. They were tasty, but not exactly what I expected. Either way, I'm glad Indigo Grill now has weekend brunch!

I went on an additional shopping spree and bought some shoes that are totally not sensible, nor pregnancy friendly. They are wedge sandals with fabric that ties them around your ankle. I love them, practical or not! I also go some really cute and comfy pleated denim shorts, a lace-back tank top that will totally still fit my for the first half of my pregnancy (summertime in San Diego)  and a teal cropped sweater. I swore I also bought a beautiful teal floral blouse, and spent literally hours this weekend looking for it, but finally stopped when my SIL informed me that I hadn't actually bought it. I guess I was trying to be thrifty...something about it not being worth $25, which is actually incorrect. I think I'm going back for it today. :)

My sister and husband both bought me tulips. My sister's were potted yellow tulips.




My husband's were a bouquet of different colored tulips in a simple, but pretty, green vase.

Last, but not least, my other SIL (sorry guys, I have six to choose from, so I know it's hard to follow...) made me a placemat of sorts for my sewing machine, and a sewing machine cover. She gave me the extra fabric she didn't use, which is awesome because they are aqua and yellow! I also discovered my newfound love for artgalleryfabrics.com because of this gift! Fun stuff.

Pardon the mess behind/under the sewing machine. Due to lack of my own little workspace, I have been using my bedside table as a sewing stand, and all my projects are piled on the floor and in my reading chair nearby, on my side of the bed, where my husband won't move them. I have a body pillow still needing me to create it a cover, some fabric for a dress I was planning on sewing but never got around to, and won't fit anytime while I'm pregnant, wool for spinning that is draped across the top of our crib box so it could dry after recently being washed, and a few alteration WIPs. My husband disagrees, but I feel like I would be more organized if I had a studio/workspace. I had one last year, but it was poorly lit, with no music and was on the other side of the house from everything else, so I felt like I was banished every time I went in there to work.

In other news, I'm still working on fine-tuning a crochet pattern for cotton washcloths/afghan squares. This is what I have so far:

I'm also in the process of sewing myself a denim skirt, and finishing up a few crib sheets so I can finally finish one crib set, once and for all (Okay, so I'll still have the crib skirt to make, but at least I'll be one step closer, right?), and am crocheting myself a fun bright green poncho! I'm a little poncho crazy these days. Anyway, right now, I'm going to go attempt some more custard. Wish me luck!!